The Velocityof Mr. time 

Feb.9 21

     I like the winter - I like the harsh weather and the challenges that it brings, physically and mentally. if I was ancient human it would suck i bet a lot more. but it feels like it is in my DNA to survive and exist with a harsh winter and then feel the spring time and a long summer with a brain that really appreciates the comfortable seasons. Its crazy man. Every summer just a cool breeze and a setting sun makes me feel touched by a god - a happiness and comfort with existing and being- getting dipped in mental honey,,,

      Got a new book- COrmac recommended the novel to me. 1Q84 by the author Haruki Murakami- I ordered it online, arrived the other day. THis NOVEL IS THE SIZE OF MY HEAD BROTHER YOU DIDNT TELL ME THIS WAS 1,000,000 PAGES
Im excited to dive in regardless
Submitted a few sections of videopix to an artist grant submission thing for my state (Massachusetts). I hope the judge or whatever is left more confused than before watching. I hope there is at least a SLIVER of intrigue on their mind,. i picture a 70 year old thinking it is a bit of footage captured from a video game and discarding the entry

     Animating human walking and "gait" is a wicked tedious affair. Im about to start a series where everyone is justa fucking ghost so i dont have to animate any walks . the walk feels like such a means to the end, when I'm working. I just want them to get from A to B to focus on the actual action or gesture or thought or motion, rather than the "fluff" which is the walk. I m gona make a GHOST SHOW (i refuse to make a ghost show)
i like to animate characters running though. More excciting visually
I want to find peace with my new computer mouse - but it is cramping my hand a bit. I am coming from the Microsoft Sculpt ergonomic mouse and if you can imagine a large apple. and if you cut the apple in half. Then put a scroll wheel at about 45degrees from the bottom flat- that is what that mouse is. And it morphed my hand to only accept the fruit shape mouse. Now i endure this wrist adjustment pain- For those extra buttons man. The shortcuts are god mode

     I've been incredibly busy each day, and I can not wait to get through this project to have a moment to rest. This is a bit different, it is work for hire- similar to the Melodi short, in nature, but this is an animated narrative to accompany a song. I have completed about 65-70% of the work. The beginning of the animation will be reworked at the last stage of the project, because I want it to start really good--by the end of working on a character driven narrative, I am really comfortable with the rigs and can animate much more seamlessly, with a stronger connection between envision and result. the project is a huge task for me to do in this relatively short time and I want to make it the best I possibly can,.
It is really easy to make a suck ass music video, I think. I love a good music video though,,, I miss when music vids were on TV and being a kid, that was a mad treat

      Got two questions here in my inbox that I am going to do my best to answer:

1.  when you view a "past" creation of yours, how great is that degree of separation for you? Do you identify with it at all, for lack of a better word? Or is it viewed from a more dissociated perspective as one of the many creations that others have made? how does your reaction change to the works as time passes ?

      my answer lies in the time-span context,

      After completing a project, and publishing the final draft- I will watch it over a few times, and Really get to enjoy the work I put in. I would say this is the most "glowing" feeling I am able to draw from viewing the work I create. My brain lights on all cylinders and i feel ecstatic and proud to have finished and given my All, into something that is absolutely mine and that I believe in and wouldnt have any other way. After several weeks, this glow diminishes, slightly, as I am able to see more clearly things I would adjust or repair or polish within the work., This is natural, and does not feel "bad" to me, but feels motivating and invigorates me to keep going and try harder and build my skills. to go bigger and shoot higher with concepts and ideas and raise thee bar a bit higher.

     a month or so goes by and i am neck-deep into my next project and the last thing i want to do is watch any work of mine- Not because I dont like it, But because i have already taken what I need from it and have set myself on a course beyond it. I do not reject the work wholly, but accept that I must reject it somewhat for the time being in order to enjoy it more later on.

     After several months pass, It will be like meeting with an old friend. Seamless laughs and mannerism exchange- Fondness and a positive memory of the time i shared with that work. The viewing ends without remorse or regret, but a satisfaction that I have met and became acquainted with that idea/project./ A hug and a good bye from me.

     When the work is from 10 or more years ago, I can still project into the headspace I had at the time while making it- why I made it and how I felt when making it- But i struggle to remember the exact details of actually making it on the technical or physical level.
videopix is such a blur there is so much there that I had to do, that the specifics of some scenes surprise me on rewatch. Like- Oh yeah, I animated that?

2. when it comes to your creative process, how much of it is broken into intentional proactive structure vs. a more fluid, temperamental way of being. from "i'm going to sit in this chair" down to "i'm going to complete this project" if that makes sense. how has your approach evolved ?

     I need a notebook and a real bold gel pen for beginning stages. Writing my thoughts, drawing my thoughts- Sleeping on these thoughts and expanding on the thoughts to grow them,. LIke watering a house plant. You dont see it growing in front of your eyes but over time and if you continue to water and nurture the thoughts and ideas, with a sharp mind and body to determine the best flow chart course to take with the layers of ideas and things you begin to collect in your head and on paper.  The vision for an idea, you "catch" the passing thought in your net and put it in a jar, if it is really neat. The ideas I collect grow from small pieces of silly thought or pattern or movements or memories , which then can be added to the cache network of good ideas. These ideas MUST get linked together. That is the mindset I like to have. It turns me into a crazy man . kind of./ I can really get to some odd places when I make it into a days long battle to link ideas together cohesively. I will lose sleep over it some times because it haunts me to connect the ideas into a somewhat logical state. I dont ever like to miss sleep, and find sleep and exercise to be absolutely crucial to the creative powers of anyone. I find intense aerobic movement gives me clarity to spark ground-level ideas. also makes me happy (a-good-mood-dude).

     From their, I make a mega-brainstorm of the visuals I want to make to create the thing. I write down everything that I want to visually represent. Second pass mega-brainstorm paper will consist of the techniques or workflows I will go about using to create that visual, or that scene, or that mood. Things that will require a few pieces of software to get looking right (or at least, what I imagine is "right") will get special attention. Anything 2d will require style and line/color detail on this second brainstorm. The cg elements from the brainstorm will get their own new outline, detailing every aspect of the workflow. Texturing, modeling, Rigging. I try to be very thorough with detailing the work required so I can be somewhat efficient,,, This is all the prep work, which leads me to the animation stages. Thats the real trip. if this brainstrom-outline-workflow process takes a month or more for a single project concept, I am DYING to get to the animation stage by that point. Thats what i really like, is making it all come to life. Building it and getting it all to Look butter and making my machines run Like mothers is a lot of fun for me too though. Very satisfying. it is equally comforting to know that there is plenty of room in the medium for growth and experimentation. It is a bit maddening, though, the work involved. But I like that. Gives me drive

     earlier, smaller projects- were more off the cuff.--- " im gona make this thing!"" *16 year old me at 4pm on a sunday afternoon*  --10 hours later-->  this is way more work that I ever even thought possible by 1 human Im gona finish what Ive got and be smarter about it next time , (repeat cycle , inifinity, getting a bit better at respecting the scale and scope of my abilities and willingness to throw myself at larger tasks, "game-ifying" the aspects of proper planning and pre-production)

     Love the questions, they help me to express myself and how I do things better than if I were to just write without a bulletin
if you have a question or several for me to answer on here, email me. or if you just want to talk or send a note,, that is always  cool too
jack1human@gmail.com

     PEAACE - Jack